Another empty coffee. That means a trip to the canteen, 2 floors down. It's worth it, coffee always is. Christ, I'm lazy, there's an elevator. I feel like shit, my head is in a fish bowl and as I walk, my world does the sloshing from side to side, I'm suffering from some kind of sensory inertia - i am 2 seconds ahead of my world, feeling terribly out of sync.

Spoke to the bank yesterday about a refund on moneys pilfered. They sent forms for me to fill in, documenting anything strange. There was actually one machine that had a card slot that protruded about 2 inches. I remember the guy in front of me struggling to get his card out. The same happened to me, I just put it down to great British ATM design.

One of my colleagues is an ex banker. When I mentioned the card slot, the first thing he said was 'card scanners'. Barclays could not guarantee that I will get my money back. If I don't, I will have to take out a loan to get back on par. The bank can fly into buildings if they think I am going to take out the loan with them. I'll take that business elsewhere.

I broke the bathroom mirror yesterday. Phil was quick to point out that I now had yet another 7 years of bad luck, that means i'm Dirty Harry dried up dog shit till i'm 38, i'll just dry up 'n blow 'way. My manager, Louise gave me the antidote, I am to bury a shard deep down, in my garden. Do I then sacrifice ten vestal virgins at stone henge? Then there's the ladder we walked under all summer in order to gain access to the roof. Well, I bet Phil's only too happy about the fact that the laddered stairway to rooftop BBQ heaven is right outside my bedroom. I am being primed for a massive cosmic battering.

Am I turning into a good English, half man half druid, spodge of pagan, is that a may-pole in your pocket? Trying to cure my cold with tasty little sugar balls called Ignatia 6c homeopathic remedy. I don't think you can call it medicine, well, i suppose you can, medicinal science versus remedy. There must as be as much science to a badger type man with a pendulum, spurting latin and casting spells, consulting his mossy green rocks, who know the 'little people' as there is to constructing morphine in a laboratory.

Acronym of the day:

PEBCAK Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard