A little history on the fear of bubblegum...

I knew a little boy once who would search the underside of tables in restaurants - wracked by the compulsive fear that he would find used gum stuck there. He refused to eat in places at tables where there was gum lodged - hard and smooth. This made things quite difficult as all tables were polluted. He rated the restaurants according to the level of gum pollution. By the way - he was a red-haired compulsive.

Notice this the next time you hear the senseless, tacky suck of a set of jaws grinding their cattle cud of vile chemical. All resemblance and indication of intelligence seems to vacate a person jamming their jaws on chewing gum. Mouths agape for the world to see, eyes, blank and bleak - the act of chewing gum shorts the flow of neurotransmitters to the brain. Chewers do it without synapses.

For those interested in reading the definitive anti-chewing gum argument, please read here. For those who agree with me, we are not alone.