Sais the man who likes to pee on melty stuff - the piss artist

Bechrist - it's aw food,food, food, nae mention o' drink. There's an auld scotch word for that - its Pampy. Hiv ye never heard of the starvin' wean that comes intae the boozer an' sez tae his faither "Daddy, Daddy - don't buy whisky - buy bread!" To which the wise faither retorts - "Shut up ye stupid wee shite, ye ken full well ye cannie drink bread. So it's in Gods Ordinance as far as ah'm concerned. Ye cannie live by food alone.

I have heard, and I don't know why it's so, what with all their salmon, venison, fresh langoustine, potato scones, mealie pudding and haggis, that the Scotts eat the biggest load of shite on earth.