Eating Alpen bars in abundance is not good. They are cheap and are forced onto consumers under the guise of being healthy. Just because something resembles wheaty, grainy wholesomeness does not necessarily qualify its nutritional value. I might be wrong here, this is just my thought on the matter. Studded with the tastiest chewy things that are apparently dried strawberries and dipped in what they say is yoghurt, that dubiously has a similar consistency to cheap white chocolate, which coincidentally is just vegetable fat fused with sugar to produce a smooth homogeneous film of, well sugar and fat. This they call yoghurt. Closer inspection of the wrapper reveals that it is yoghurt flavored and that the sweet-fatty gossamer blanket wrapped around my Alpen bar in fact contains 2.5% dried yoghurt.

They make me shit like crazy, redefining regular.

It's just gone 14:50 and I'm 20 minutes into my crash and burn stage of the afternoon. I've figured out why, it's because I now eat four meals a day, my biggest one being lunch - I could eat all day. Lunch is always followed by treats brought in by outsourced pudding people, drenched in tetrapack custard. As soon as my stomach realizes the onslaught, my body goes into meltdown. I crash and burn, crash, and burn.

Being hungover is not helping. On Tuesday I filled the fridge with a case of Becks and a dozen Czech lagers. Yesterday afternoon when I got home, I didn't waste any time homing in on the fridge. Hot day, cold beer, mmm as Homer would say, mmm... beer. Drinking persisted till 23:30 when Phil called, pissed - daddy's coming home drunk, again. 'Don't go to bed, stay awake - I have gifts' shouted Phil into his handset. I did as requested. Phil had been to a Belgian bar in Clarkenwell, which so he tells me is absolutely fantastic. He had purchased a few usually unobtainables, so we got straight into those. The thing is, they start off at 8% alcohol. See where the hangover comes from?

I have just offered to do some menial administration transferring data specifications to a new template. Amazingly she (my manager) told me to take it easy, and to do it some other time. I explained that I was bored. So I thought I'd blog instead. I feel a hangover induced warp-phase coming on... I need to take a walk, get some fresh air.