I have just returned from lunch. I feel riddled and defiled by Hypocrisy. Some time ago, I posted a rant about scampi - which can be read here. The options for lunch were supremely bad. Surely there has to be a law protecting food from abusive cooks. The peas, bless, were graying and shrivelled, wrinkling under the hotlights without moisture, they had been cooked, boiled, not blanched - I'd prefer them raw if that's what it takes.

I am not going to embark on a rant here, 'oh God, not another one' I hear you say. I had heartburn before I even started. The scampi was £1.80, I got 6 pieces, that's 30p a piece, take away the breaded shell, and you are left with something no bigger than a small clam. Is this taking the piss or what? There was lamb, in an unidentifiable sauce. The chinese face stared at me, startled, bunny in headlights, staring down the barrel of my verbal gun as I asked him what sauce it was. He never knew. This is something that never ceases to amaze me - that people who work in the service industry are not even informed on the poison they serve. I should really take the chefs outside and give them a kicking. They are the ones who should know better. But saying that, what are they doing cooking in a lunch canteen at Unilever? Are they too shite to work in restaurants? Are they too, in their state of misery and loss trying to find some balance in life, the 9-5 day? Are they too washed out to change their lives, cambio la vita, are they too old and washed out to pit themselves against the young, angry chefs found in today's respectable kitchens?

At least I found comfort in the outsourced pudding with tetrapack custard. They are so useless down there, there's not a pastry chef amongst them. They are one step up the evolutionary ladder from burger king.

I managed to come back from Devon feeling relaxed, calm and happy - I am going to see how long I can maintain that for.