In went to university last night. Things are flawed. First of all I should not be studying management, the main reason being that I don't actually like people. I feel for humanity, but I don't consider the people around me and humanity to be the same thing.

I can't actually afford to study right now, I never thought I would say this, but studying would be irresponsible. What I would have given to have the wisdom I have now in 1988 when my father phoned me at school and said he was not paying my school fees on account of me being a shit. I'd have had a fantastic argument. I think he got his kicks in when he could, the big yin would struggle now. I can't wait to look after him in his old age, I'll torment him, feed him cauliflower cheese - aka 'schluck' and make him drink cheap whiskey, 'Three Ships'. Ah, life is sweet.

Everything is going the shape of a pear. I am on a detox in an attempt to see things clearly. What I really want to do is get my tycoon brother and our like-minded friends together and devise a plan for a future retirement investment and self sustainable initiative in the form of a game farm that we can all own together. We can sit round the fire in our vellies and khakies, tell stories, write stories, shoot buck and eat the veggies we grow. What I want to do is buy a tractor. The west is freaking me out, I'm suffering from some form of existential anxiety. Is this what I'm to be doing when I'm 40? If so, then it's what I'm doing when I'm 50, and 60, and then till I die. Fuck that! How have we allowed our lives to become so automated, dictated by an invisible, non-existent force. I sat on the tube this morning and wished that I could wake up and it was 1970. I was born 20 years to late.

I would love to stay and chat, but I must get back to some meaningless piece of technological, financial forecast crap that doesn't even work. If my father can teach me to make movies in months, he'll have a heir to his throne overdraft. The greatest lesson my father taught me was not to fuck with the tax-man.