Woke up with a rusty machette in my head yesterday. I don't think I need to say anymore about that!

I had a look at the state (miserable) of my bank account online, only to discover that some cheating little fucker has emtpied my bank account and left me £850 in the red. I cancelled my cards and ordered new ones. The strange thing is that I have all my cards. The money was taken from ATMs in strange areas of London that I have never even heard of. After some research on the web (bless Google's kind, fibreoptic soul) - the scam is quite common, people (cheating little fuckers) are using micro-cameras and card readers installed on ATMs to get PINs and card details.

Tor told me of 2 people at work that it happened to, one of the ladies lost £1000. One of my colleagues had £3000 pilfered from his account. Both of them got the money back, which is encouraging to hear. All they had to do was provide alibis and sign a form giving the police persmission to investigate, which is fine. If I don't get the money reimbursed, I will be quite plainly fucked! Apparently Barclays are well aware of it, as it seems to be particular to Barclays cards.

Word of the day:

\Sand"bag`ger\, n. An assaulter whose weapon is a sand bag. See Sand bag, under Sand.

Friday afternoon...

One hour and counting...

I am going to ambush the drink store, i demand booze, I plan on buying an myriad fine frothy exotic European beverages - and then proceed to extinguish the week from existence. I shall have to investigate the effect this amber nectar has on man, there must be a scientific explanation for it - I am not referring to the effects of beautiful drunkenness, but why it is that we love it. I found a fantastic site, that delivers microscopic images of what the molecular structure of beer looks like, each one, a beautiful individual, its difference and uniquenes is to be celebrated, for its salubrious qualities, in abundance, daily!

All the schedules ran smoothly, looks like i'm in for an easy Friday.

Had chinese last night, one day all of this is going to catch up with me. Skinny forever would suit me fine (blessed are the skinny, for they are the envy of the world). I found Phil's M&S rant about not having enough full-fat sandwiches, never mind not having any sandwiches at all.

I think a rant station would be a good idea here. I shall have to limit ranting myself, as this could expose the inner workings of my mind as rusty and infected. I will call on my anonymous friends to vent their anger and frustration. I have considered documenting a modern history about the Learmonts, extended and other peripheral family members. I do believe I will never be able to return to the motherland of heat, dust and HIV/AIDS for fear of being whipped and beaten by my family for exposing their madness. About the HIV/AIDS, sais your genius minister of health in South Africa, all we have to do, is eat more garlic! What a stroke of genius, a revelation, how could we have been so blind. I wonder what the AIDS statistics in France are like...

Let them be warned. If I were to document the history of the family, I would spare no-one, not even myself, I shall turn the creature on its back, and scratch the underbelly of many a sensitive topic, enraging family members and hopefully end up with some entertaining material, that some budding writer in the family could use. I could start a small war, WMDs - Words of Mass Destruction. Sounds like a fine sport.


Word of the day:

\A*bac"i*nate\ ([.a]*b[a^]s"[i^]*n[=a]t), v. t. [LL. abacinatus, p. p. of abacinare; ab off + bacinus a basin.] To blind by a red-hot metal plate held before the eyes. [R.]

Another day without too much to do. Must pick the brains of the other two here. The Tate modern yesterday was great, the final installment of the Unilever series is fab, really quite effective. Had a coffee with Gail in the coffee bar on the 7th floor of the Tate. Looking out over London can actually be sensational. After that, we took the scenic route through Blackfriars and back up Fleet Street and on to The Strand.

Posting Von Zippers off to Dave, so I need to get in touch with Gail before she leaves.

Nothing to be done for a while at work... last quarter data been siged off. Feeling better today, I felt as though i was coming down with a cold yesterday. Had a Flemmish beer fest last night, pale ales, trappist and blonde beer - Phil went bananas at the off-licence. Had chinese for dinner, wonton soup, spling loll, dry ribs and an assortment of saucy numbers.

Going to the Tate modern this afternoon with Gail, who is back from Manchester. Am looking forward to seeing the new installation, The Weather Project that was commissioned by Unilever of all people!

Been trying to talk Maman into letting us buy a Bengal cat for her, but she seems adamant that 6 cats is enough, but more importantly that Leilah, bless her wee Siamese soul, does not get any more psychotic Orientals to stalk, impede and exhaust her by repeated attacks or raids.